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Biblical Counseling Coalition: Grace & Truth
Biblical Counseling Coalition Blogs

Equipping Counselors in Other Cultures

Wayne Vanderwier May 17, 2012
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Equipping Counselors in Other Cultures

BCC Staff Note: For context for today’s blog post, you can find more information about the ministry of Overseas Instruction in Counseling at our BCC Weekend Interview.

Biblical Counseling Missionaries

Soon after Overseas Instruction in Counseling (OIC) began in 2006, we “accidentally” discovered one of the unique aspects of this ministry. While other missionaries typically have both formal and anecdotal training on cultural adaptation and experience an “assimilation curve” that is intended to help them identify with and feel at home among those with whom they are working (the indeterminate period of time known as enculturation), OIC missionaries are in and out of numerous cultures each year.

Some early and embarrassing cultural mistakes motivated me to study missiological anthropology, cultural adaptation, and societal etiquette and encouraged me to develop a simple “cultural learning” tool that could be used by OIC missionaries.

Now, you may be wondering… why wouldn’t we simply use some of the cultural awareness information—and quizzes—already developed by distinguished secular social scientists? Because, while these types of statistically- and socially-based projects are interesting and probably helpful to those for whom they’re intended, they have limitations that make them inappropriate for the specific type of snapshot culture-capturing needed by our missionaries.

Inappropriate how? First, the pool from which we intend to draw our data is very small. Next, we do not intend to do statistical analysis or publish research findings. Our questionnaire will be used only by our missionaries and its use will be repeated whenever we enter a new country. Finally, our “target audience” will be believers (usually leaders among the believers), whose motive for and interest in answering our survey will be different than those polled by sociological researchers.

The OIC Instrument: What Is Being Asked, and Why?

You can find the OIC Instrument here at A Getting Acquainted Questionnaire.

1. The Criteria

The evaluative instrument was developed around three key elements: the aspects, domains, and layers of society. Some parts of each element will prompt multiple questions; some none at all. Each is explained below:

  1. Aspects of Society: What They Think of Themselves
    This item employs “the journalists questions” to help us get a snapshot of the “cultural self-image” of the served people group.

    1. Who?
      This question seeks to define the kinds of individuals in the culture being served, their roles, and the (expected, normal) qualifications required to assume specific roles.
    2. What?
      This component asks about the objects, clothing, tools, and technology in the surveyed group.
    3. When?
      This facet explores the culture’s view of time management by asking about scheduling, event timing, “cycles of life,” etc.
    4. Where?
      This section delves into how the receiving culture views and uses architecture and space, including the location of our proposed ministry.
    5. How?
      This ingredient probes the activities, rituals, and techniques of the served group.
  2. Domains of Society: Why They Do What They Do
    1. Organization
      Our missionaries must, at minimum, understand the formal political system in which they’re serving. Beyond that, they may also be helped to understand the less formal aspects of the society’s structure, including such things as kinship systems, guilds, and corporate/business models.
    2. Power structures
      The formal systems of organization in any society are maintained (both locally and globally) by some kind of authorized, and frequently multi-layered enforcement detail—the police and/or the military. Our missionaries should understand this relationship between the “enforcers” and citizenry in general and, more specifically, the Christians.
    3. Production
      How do the people in our receiving culture subsist? This question area explores their work, industry, agriculture, crafts, technology, cooking, cleaning, sewing, modern professions, and applied sciences.
    4. Education
      Our missionaries are significantly helped if they understand the learning—and learning systems—of the places in which they work. How are the publically-funded schools graded? How is higher education valued? What is their view of/practice concerning apprenticeship?
    5. Clothing
      Those who travel abroad to train Christian leaders under the OIC banner will engage in a “period of service” that will probably include a variety of settings. They will be helped to understand what attire is appropriate for the conference setting, for church services, and for casual and/or recreational activities.
    6. Recreation/Entertainment
      What’s the “play” in our served culture? This aspect of their shared lives includes gaining an understanding of their sports, toys, games, art, music, musical instruments, stories, literature, and theater. It also includes understanding what would be considered appropriate and inappropriate activities for our missionaries.
    7. Belief systems
      Finally, our missionaries would be helped to understand the receiving culture’s structures of stability, i.e. their religious beliefs and practices. This information should go beyond a “fact book,” or encyclopedic, description of the percentage of the populace identifying themselves with each denomination, but might also include descriptions of the broader aspects of religious practice: propitiation of the gods or spirits, satisfaction of superstitious tendencies, social manipulation, moral control, magic, theoretical and/or paranormal psychology, etc.
  3. Layers of Society: How They View the “Concentric Domains”
    1. Family
      The most foundational and most intimate level of any society, the family’s life must be understood by those serving in cross-cultural ministry settings. What are its activities and traditions? How does it conduct meals? What are its views on sexuality and reproduction, child rearing, and male/female and adult/child role differentiation?
    2. Community
      The larger circle of people that we still think of as “us” (and all that pertains to “us”), is a community, a subset of the larger society. It both prescribes and maintains cultural events. Missionaries would be well served to know (and, whenever possible, participate in) their served culture’s holiday activities, birthdays, rites of passage, weddings, anniversaries, and funerals.
    3. The Others
      The people beyond the host community, those that they think of and relate to as “them,” must also be understood by the missionary. This may include those of a subculture that differs only slightly (e.g. through geographic proximity and/or linguistic “accents”) or those of a subculture reviled by the majority population.

2. The Questions

Despite the quantity of the research and the complexity of the structure behind them, the questions on the questionnaire itself were designed to be quite simple. This goal was based on several factors:

  1. Those who receive and are asked to complete this survey are busy people. The targeted missionaries and/or missionary agency executives simply do not have the time to plod through the academic justifications for each item or decipher technical (cultural/anthropological) language.
  2. Those who receive and are asked to complete this survey will themselves sometimes be “simple” (i.e. not highly educated) people, therefore…
  3. The document itself should engender confidence on the part of the national host that the ministry of OIC will be thoughtful and practical.
  4. Those who receive and are asked to complete this survey will often require its translation prior to its completion.
  5. Those receiving and using the completed surveys must be able to quickly and accurately interpret—and almost immediately use—the information provided.

3.   The Results So Far

The OIC “Getting Acquainted Questionnaire” is a work in progress. But in its present iteration it has proven to be a useful tool in assisting our missionaries to “shortcut” the process of cultural adaptation.

Join the Conversation

What did we miss? How could we improve the OIC “Getting Acquainted Questionnaire” to make it even more useful for short-term missionaries? Do you know of other such tools?

Topics: Biblical Counseling, Cross-Cultural Ministry, Resource Type | Tags: , , , ,

Caring is Wearing Me Out! Understanding and Responding to Ministry Stress

Shawn Doud May 16, 2012
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Caring is Wearing Me Out

Stressed out. Worn out. Burned out. This has described me and a lot of my friends in ministry. The cares of life plus caring for others feels like a recipe for not only being used by God, but also used up. How can I continue to care without it wearing me out?

What Wears Us Out?

Is it the volume of needs surrounding us? Is it failure to take adequate breaks? Is it that we mistook God’s call to this ministry? Does God desire to use people made out of stouter stuff? Here’s a little of my story and how I got so interested in burnout and stress!

“Everything I Learned about Stress I Learned in the Rearview Mirror”

Looking at my library you would think that I learn through books. Wrong. I tend to learn through hard experience tenderized by the grace of repentance. This was the case with my pastoral burnout.

I was a young pastor in a small church with a wife and four small children in a place very different from the California desert and beaches of my youth. Increasingly I felt (and articulated to others) “there’s not enough Starbucks to touch the kind of tired that I feel.” I had trouble getting a full breath. I would walk around the house sighing trying to remember what I was about to do. Even “vegging out” no longer helped me relax. I often felt too tired and distracted to pray. As I “stressed out” and turned inward, I found myself burned out.

In 2010 I resigned my pastorate, moved close to family, and studied almost full-time to complete my Biblical Counseling training from CCEF. As I began counseling people around the San Francisco Bay Area, I was increasingly concerned for counselors, missionaries, and pastors (like myself) who had outward ministries of impact and compassion, but who were unprepared for the stress and strain that ministry places on our bodies, hearts, and relationships.

This January, I began serving as Staff Care and Well-being Specialist with Food for the Hungry, a Christian aid, relief, and child focused development organization. My role is to ensure that our staff who serves in areas of extreme poverty and civil unrest and in times of natural disaster is able to be resilient and continue to respond to the needs of children and other vulnerable people around them with Gospel compassion. Ministering to these high-risk servants and experiencing burnout firsthand has made me a student of stress and how the Gospel empowers us to react proactively and holistically.

What Is Stress?

Stress is the reaction to any real or perceived challenge, demand, threat or change to which you must adapt (Headington Institute, Helping the Helpers).

A crying child. A raging bull. An email. An alarm clock. God has designed our body to be triggered by external stimuli. This is for our survival and to enable us to live relationally in a world of people, things, and mission requiring our attention and response. We are meant to be triggered to action by the needs of others and the world around us. We tend to automatically view stress negatively because we increasingly have more sensory demands placed on us than ever before in human history.

My wife and I have occasionally laughed at ourselves as we thought that our phone was vibrating in a pocket. It wasn’t. Our body was twitching and we were “on alert” to receiving a phantom call that wasn’t there. In our increasingly connected, high speed internet lives, our bodies are on high alert for longer amounts of time and almost all the time.

What was the missing piece in my ability to handle stress and bounce back in a healthy way? Resilience. Resilience is the quality of having the physical, emotional, and spiritual resources to spring back from the pressure of stress. Burnout is the collapse of a person who has no resilience.

Maybe a word picture will help. A submarine has to equalize pressure as it goes deeper. As we go deeper into people’s lives and the brokenness of the world, we must find equal resources to press against the pressure of stress in our lives. This ability to press against and meet stress in a healthy way is what we mean by resilience. We must retain our shape as followers of Christ and merciful “incarnations” of the Gospel. When we lose this shape and our resources are overwhelmed, we are experiencing distress and are candidates for burnout.

When we are feeling pressured and mishandling stress, one of the greatest temptations in ministry is to maintain just enough of a soft exterior that we are seen as approachable and compassionate. Then we find that to survive the constant pressure of people’s needs and our requirement to respond with diligence and grace, we can sometimes harden our hearts to minimize the pain from sharing in others’ sufferings and caring for them. Ironically, to be impervious to suffering is also to be resistant to grace.

The Apostle Paul: Resilient Not Impervious

If ever there was a highly effective, highly relational minister/counselor/church planter it was the Apostle Paul! If anyone was ever ripe for burnout it was him!

Listen to him describe his “stress profile”:

  • Jesus personally hand-picked this “ministry verse” for Paul: “For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name” (Acts 9:16 ESV).
  • “And, apart from other things (like stonings, beatings, shipwreck, imprisonment!), there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches” (2 Corinthians 11:28 ESV).

Paul’s Resources

  • Physical needs and well-being. Paul wasn’t afraid to ask for a coat while he was in prison. He treated himself like an “embodied soul.” He was not hyper-spiritual or hyper-physical.  He gave proper attention to both the outer and inner man.
  • A great network of prayer, physical and relational supporters.
    • Bringing a coat and reading material
    • Close friends
    • Even highly complicated relationships from his past were sources of encouragement and mutual ministry (e.g. John Mark)
  • He viewed others not merely as beneficiaries of his ministry. He viewed them as peers and as sources of spiritual refreshment, not as the ministry machinery of his church planting movement.
  • Constant inward renewal (2 Corinthians 4:6) as he lived as a jar of clay under great pressure containing great Gospel treasure.

Paul’s Responses

  • The word for care or anxiety in 2 Corinthians 11:28 (Gk. merimna) is the same word that is used in Jesus’ parable of the Sower (Mathew 13:22; Luke 8:14). The cares of the world choked out the growth of the Word. But this same word is in God’s gracious invitation to us:  “Cast all your cares on him, for he cares for you.” As Paul prayed repeatedly for his thorn in the flesh to be removed, he received a practical and powerful understanding of God’s grace “perfected in weakness.”

Lessons Learned:

  • Paul wasn’t made out of different stuff.
  • Paul wasn’t receiving different grace than we receive.
  • Paul admitted that he was actually weak, and he saw the danger of strengths, background and privilege, counting them as things worth trading for the surpassing greatness of knowing and boasting in Christ.
  • Paul was under great pressure for the sake of Christ, and found much grace to withstand and be fruitful in the face of stress.

Join the Conversation

  • Where have you guarded yourself against the needs and demands of people?
  • Could this be a sign that you do not have adequate spiritual disciplines and joy in Christ to meet the pressures of ministry?
  • How often do you refer to yourself as the “only one” who can do this job or who suffers in this way? Consider Elijah in 1 Kings 19. Study Elijah’s responses and God’s provision and consider what God has provided for you in your ministry stress.
Topics: Biblical Counseling, Gospel-Centered Ministry, People in Need of Care, People Who Offer Care, People Who Train Caregivers, Stress | Tags: , , ,

The War Against Weakness

Lee Lewis May 15, 2012
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The War Against Weakness

In walking with people bogged down by sin, I have noticed a consistent trend: an independence from God. This observation is further enforced in Scripture. Genesis 3, Romans 1, John 15, and countless other texts point toward the realities that exist when we operate outside of God. To sum this behavior up in one word, you could call it “pride,” but there are other factors at work, and one of those is weakness.

Overwhelmed by Weakness

Mankind is overwhelmed by weakness. In the beginning, when God creates Adam and Eve in a perfect, sinless Eden, He creates them with need for His provision (Gen. 1:28; 2:16-17). Before sin enters the world, there is a need within mankind—there is a weakness.

Neediness in and of itself is not sinful, but it is where neediness is directed or terminates that creates problems. In Genesis 1 and 2, God supplies everything that humanity needs, and there is never any worship tied to creation. God creates and says that it is good, and man responds to Him with praise. There is a beautiful dependence of humanity upon God.

The Shift

Sin enters the world in Genesis 3, and this dependence upon God—and God alone—becomes a dependence on creation. In Romans 1, Paul describes this shift as the preferring of creation over the Creator. Pride is most often seen when this dependence or neediness is unacknowledged and hidden. People frame their lives to make themselves look strong and calm when, in reality, they are weak and burdened. The beautiful picture of Adam and Eve resting perfectly in the provision of the Lord is exchanged for a pseudo provision aligned with whatever hides our weaknesses.

The Incredible Opportunity

An incredible opportunity is missed in this vulnerable state. The Psalmist says, “I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth” (Ps. 121). He understands his weak and compromised condition and that provision is found in God alone.

Our Pride and Our Weakness

If this is the humble response, then how would our pride have us respond in moments of weakness? One response is to address the weakness in our own strength and bolster our vulnerabilities, but this response only increases pride in the heart. A second response is to sit in our weakness as a victim and justify doing so because of how we have been wronged. This response is equally prideful and steeped in self-pity.

The Gospel and Weakness

The gospel however frees us up, in our weakness and brokenness, to find rest and refuge. In our weakness, He is strong. There is always an opportunity in weakness, and that opportunity is to press in and look to the mountain—that is Christ—where our help comes from.

Join the Conversation

Where are you turning in your weakness?

Topics: Biblical Counseling, Gospel-Centered Ministry, Humility, People in Need of Care, People Who Offer Care, People Who Train Caregivers | Tags: , ,

What Do People Need Most?

Mark Tanious May 14, 2012
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What Do People Need Most

As a pastor, I have the privilege (and burden) of helping people work through all kinds of issues. Sometimes, the issue they want to address is really the issue that needs to be addressed. But often, what people think is the issue really isn’t the issue. There is usually something deeper going on in their soul that needs to be addressed.

The challenge for me as a pastor and counselor is to discern what issue really needs to be addressed. That challenge is magnified by my desire to shepherd someone into greater spiritual maturity. I genuinely want to help others in ways that are actually helpful! If you are a pastor, counselor, discipler, or a spiritual friend, you can probably relate to that desire.

So, the question I must ask is: what do people need most?

Transformed in His Presence

I have come to a liberating, and maybe obvious, conclusion. What people need most is not something I can teach them or give to them. When a fellow believer comes to me with an issue, what he needs most is to be transformed in God’s presence. In fact, it is only in God’s presence that real transformation takes place.

Isaiah 6:1-7 gives us a picture of what it looks like to be transformed in God’s presence. In this passage, Isaiah is confronted with three things that provide a biblical framework for transformation: A proper vision of God, a proper vision of sin, and a proper vision of grace.

A Proper Vision of God

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple” (Isaiah 6:1). Uzziah had been king for fifty-two long and prosperous years.  But now the king is dead.

The question that must have been looming for Isaiah’s audience is this: Who is the king? Who is really in charge?

Well, Isaiah helps us. “In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord,” and in verse 5, “My eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” The point is that even though Uzziah is dead, God lives on. This dramatic introduction reminds us that God is infinitely greater than any earthly leader or power. He has no beginning or end, and He depends on no one for His existence. He alone is the King.

When I am counseling, I want to help someone get a glimpse of the God that has been and always will be in charge. I want them to get a glimpse of our God who never changes.

Isaiah continues by telling us that the Lord was seated on a high and exalted throne. This signifies His authoritative and sovereign control. He is majestic in His greatness. In fact, God’s glory is so great that the train of His robe filled the temple. It seems like words are beginning to fail Isaiah. He is doing the best he can, but it is hard to describe a kind of greatness that is beyond human understanding.

And all the while, there are angels declaring their worship of God saying, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory” (Isaiah 6:3). God’s holiness is the core of His being. It is His essence. His holiness is His total and unique moral purity and majesty. Referring to God as holy is a description of how set apart, supreme, transcendent, and beyond our understanding He is. And it is this vision of God’s holiness that makes Isaiah come undone. He is overwhelmed by the greatness and weightiness of God’s holiness.

The Importance of Knowing God’s Holiness

If anyone is going to be transformed in God’s presence, they need a proper vision of God. They need to know what He is like. Many people whom I counsel have an inaccurate view of God’s character. They don’t understand what God is like. Unless my counselee is brought to a greater understanding of God, they cannot be transformed in His presence. If a person is dealing with a pornography issue, he needs to understand that God’s holiness cannot tolerate such an idol of the heart. If someone is dealing with control issues, she needs to understand that God alone is the all-controlling one.

It was A.W. Tozer who said:

The low view of God entertained almost universally among Christians is the cause of a hundred lesser evils everywhere among us… The decline of the knowledge of the holy has brought on our troubles. A rediscovery of the majesty of God will go a long way toward curing them.[1]

What people need from me as a counselor is help moving towards a proper view of God. They need to see God as He is revealed in Scripture because anyone who has ever encountered the living God has never been the same again. If you need more examples, consider Moses, or Jacob, or Job, or Paul.

A deeper knowledge of God’s majestic holiness will absolutely transform a person. But, not without a cost. Encountering God always involves a cost.

A Proper Vision of Sin

After seeing the Lord in His holiness, Isaiah is ruined. He cries out in verse 5, “Woe to me… I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.”

In the presence of a holy God, it becomes painfully obvious to Isaiah that he is an unholy man. And he finds himself in utter grief over the offensiveness of his sin. R. C. Sproul has said, “Every sin is an act of cosmic treason, a futile attempt to dethrone God in his sovereign authority.”

What my counselees need in dealing with their “issues” is a keen awareness of their own sin. Frankly, what I need in dealing with my “issues” is a keen awareness of my own sin. I might consider how aware my counselee is of his own sin. I might push beyond awareness and consider how my counselee is responding to his sin. I might ask myself these questions as I am counseling: Does his sin break his heart? How can I tell? If not, why not? Does it bring her to tears?

A Proper Vision of Grace

After being undone by the realization of his own sin in light of God’s holiness, Isaiah experiences something radical and amazing. In verse 6, an angel took a live coal from the altar and touched his lips. And in verse 7 the angel says, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”

This single act is how God meets Isaiah in his moment of confessed need. Immediately, the guilt of his sin is taken away and the punishment of his sin paid. It is gone. This is a wonderful picture of grace.

God didn’t have to do this and Isaiah didn’t deserve for him to do this. But, that’s what makes grace so amazing. It meets us at our point of deepest need and gives us what we could never achieve ourselves. And the brokenness that was brought on by a proper vision of sin is now healed through a proper vision of grace.

For my counselee (and for all of us), God’s grace is fully on display in the person and work of Jesus Christ. I want to help my counselee savor the truth that instead of giving her what she deserves because of the offensiveness of her sin, God gives her what she doesn’t deserve because of the extravagance of His grace.

And until we recognize that God did not have to do this for us, we cheapen God’s grace. It’s inappropriate to think that it is God’s job to forgive us. It’s not His job. It is an unimaginable, unexpected, and undeserved gift to us. That’s grace. That’s the gospel.

When my counselee gets a proper vision of grace, transformation is already happening.

While transformation cannot be manufactured, I am convinced it involves a proper vision of God, a proper vision of our sin, and a proper vision of grace. This kind of transformation can only be done in God’s presence.

Join the Conversation

Which of the three “visions” do you think would be most helpful to apply in your ministry? What do you think is the most important element in helping someone experience God’s transformation?

[1] A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy (New York: HarperCollins, 1961), pp. vii-viii.

 

Topics: Biblical Counseling, Faith, Grace, People in Need of Care, People Who Offer Care, People Who Train Caregivers, Sanctification | Tags: , , , , ,

The BCC Weekend Video Resource: Pastoral Care for Pastors With Paul Tripp and Jeremy Lelek

BCC Staff May 12, 2012
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The BCC has a robust and growing portfolio of media resources. We’re creating, collecting, collating, and posting the best of the best in video, audio, MP3, Vimeo, YouTube, and other media resources to equip you for one-another ministry. You can find all of our media resources on our new Media page.

Periodically on weekends, we want to alert you to a media resource hosted at the BCC’s Resource Page that we believe you will find helpful in your life and ministry.

Pastoral Care for Pastors

Who pastors our pastors? In this video, Dr. Paul David Tripp and ABC President Jeremy Lelek discuss their passion for ministering to pastors and the vision behind the establishment of the Center for Pastoral Life & Care.

Topics: Biblical Counseling, Gospel-Centered Ministry, Local Church Ministry, Pastoral Resources, People in Need of Care, People Who Offer Care, People Who Train Caregivers | Tags: , , , , ,

Friday’s Five to Live By

BCC Staff May 11, 2012
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Friday's Five To Live By 2012

Each Friday our BCC staff links you to the top five biblical counseling and Christian living blog posts of the week—posts that provide robust, rich, and relevant insights for living.

Child-Centered Parenting or Christ-Centered Parenting

Luma Simms offers some very thought-provoking insights at You Do Not Belong to Your Children, You Belong to Christ.

Is Bibliolatry the Real Danger?

Pastor Kevin DeYoung addresses the question, “Which poses the bigger risk of idolatry—a high view of the Bible that sees Jesus submitting to the Scriptures or a low view of Scripture that sees Jesus standing apart from the Scriptures?” Read his response in Is Bibliolatry the Real Danger?

In Christ’s Grace or In Our Performance

Bob Kellemen shares A Prayer for Peace by Grace and Not Performance.

Is Seminary Obsolete?

William B. Evans raises important questions in Is the Seminary Model Obsolete?

The Campus Tsunami

Not only are times changing related to seminary education, David Brooks opines at the New York Times that, “What happened to the newspaper and magazine business is about to happen to higher education: a rescrambling around the Web.” Read his thoughts at The Campus Tsunami.

Join the Conversation

Which post impacted you the most? Why? What blog posts on biblical counseling and Christian living have you enjoyed this week that you want to share with others?

Topics: Five To Live By, People in Need of Care, People Who Offer Care, People Who Train Caregivers | Tags: , , , , ,

Making Sense Out of Suffering

Greg Wilson May 10, 2012
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Making Sense Out of Suffering

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though it’s waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling” (Psalm 46:1-2).

This poignant Psalm inspired Luther’s great hymn, A Mighty Fortress is Our God, and has comforted many suffering from fear and anxiety over the troubles of life. Our God can be such a strong refuge that even the earth giving way would not cause us to fear. It’s a powerful metaphor, however far-fetched it might sound.

The Sons of Korah

But such an event was not hypothetical for the authors of this Psalm. Numbers 16 tells the sad tale of Korah, under whose feet the earth literally gave way and swallowed him up because of the rebellion that he led. Dissatisfied with his Levitical role of guarding the tabernacle of the Lord, Korah led 250 well-respected friends to confront Moses and Aaron over their spiritual leadership of Israel.

“You have gone too far!” they tell Moses and Aaron. “For all in the congregation are holy, every one of them, and the Lord is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the assembly of the Lord?”

Korah’s charge against Moses is laughable if you reflect back on Moses’ continual reluctance to lead (see Exodus 4:10-13, for example). Not only had Moses and Aaron not sought this role, God had chosen them against their will for a task they did not want and were completely inadequate to fulfill. As Moses points out, Korah and his followers’ complaint was with God alone (Numbers 16:11). It is a dangerous thing to challenge the authority of the Lord, as Korah and his co-conspirators discovered when the earth literally swallowed them up alive into their graves (Numbers 16:28-33).

Korah and his followers would be remembered throughout history for a rebellion marked by self-glorification instead of humility (Numbers 16:3), restless impatience instead of peaceful confidence in the Lord (Numbers 16:13-14), and the desire to approach the Lord on our terms instead of His (Numbers 16:36-49)—perversions of God’s revealed truth that even Jude would be warning New Testament believers against centuries later under Korah’s still-disgraced name (Jude 11).

Redeemed, How I Love to Proclaim It

“But the sons of Korah did not die” (Numbers 26:11).

God loves to redeem, reconcile, and restore, and from these disgraced families God chose to perform His redemptive work through Korah’s sons. During David’s reign as Israel’s king, some of the descendants of Korah were worship leaders that David “put in charge of the service of song in the house of the LORD after the ark rested there. They ministered with song before the tabernacle of the tent of meeting until Solomon built the house of the LORD in Jerusalem, and they performed their service according to their order” (1 Chronicles 6:31-32). They also held the same position that their ancestor had attempted to promote himself from, “keepers of the thresholds of the tent, as their fathers had been in charge of the camp of the LORD, keepers of the entrance” (1 Chronicles 9:19).

We celebrate the redemption of Korah’s legacy as we read, study, memorize, meditate upon, teach, and counsel from Psalms 42-49 and Psalms 84-88, the Psalms ascribed to the “Sons of Korah.” Through these Psalms, later generations of Korahites struggle through feelings of abandonment, fear, grief, anger, helplessness, depression, and despair—themes that may have related to their notorious family name. Of course, these themes can be found in most Psalms, but I find myself gravitating to these more frequently in my counseling.

And others have too. Martyn Lloyd-Jones exposited Psalm 42 in his classic, Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Cure, and Jared C. Wilson used the same text in his chapter on “Depression” in his recent book, Gospel Wakefulness. Can we see in the psalmist’s desperation for God and yearning for His presence in Psalm 42 and Psalm 84 the redemption of Korah’s desire to exalt himself?

The massively despairing Psalm 88, which I will frequently assign to grieving clients to help them voice the sense of abandonment that they feel from God, ends with “You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness” (Psalm 88:18). There is no happy ending in this psalm, no turn of praising God—only despair and heartache in crying out to a God who apparently responds with only silence. Yet their continued pleas, day and night, reveal that the sons of Korah understand the need to continue to cry out to a God who is sovereign and is their only hope.

This quiet confidence in God is a radical departure from their forefather’s restless impatience with his lot in life. This writer does not want to perish under God’s wrath, separated from the covenantal love of God, as his forefather had: “Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon?” (Psalm 88:11). Crying out in Psalm 44 for God to come to their aid, we see that the sons of Korah have learned that God must be humbly approached on his terms, and not our own.

God is relentlessly after His glory in our lives and in the lives of those we counsel. May God bless and multiply the lessons learned by the sons of Korah to make sense of our struggles and the struggles of those we counsel.

Join the Conversation

How does God’s affectionate sovereignty in the line of Korah apply to your life and ministry?

Topics: Biblical Counseling, Faith, Suffering, Worship | Tags: , ,

Does Gender Really Matter in Counseling?

Jill Wamsley May 9, 2012
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Does Gender Really Matter in Counseling

Recently I was doing some research on the importance of gender, specifically biblical womanhood, in counseling. What I discovered was pretty shocking.

The Surprising Statistics

In February, 2012, I completed a national survey by 155 biblical counselors. The survey participants consisted of biblical counselors living in the United States. All participants have completed some type of biblical counseling training that would classify them as a biblical counselor. The survey consists of a wide range of educated and experienced counselors.

Sadly, the survey revealed that only one out of 155 biblical counselors teaches the differences between biblical manhood and womanhood as part of their counseling regiment. Furthermore, only two of the 155 counselors teach the God-given roles of woman in the home and church.

Gender manifests itself in everyday living. Why are counselors not teaching biblical womanhood to individuals? Could it be fear? Could it be false assumptions about the individual’s testimony or beliefs on the topic? Without truly understanding who the counselee is as a woman, she will never understand the significant impact it has on her day to day living.

Gender expresses itself in functioning roles in life. Paul Tripp says, “In all of this, God’s ultimate goal is His own glory. Christ came to restore people to the purpose they were made for: to live every aspect of their lives in worshipful, obedient submission to Him.”[1] There are significant benefits and wonderful blessings for a woman in understanding who she is as a woman in Christ.

God Created Male and Female: There Is a Difference!

Genesis 1:27, says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female He created.” God created male and female! Let’s not be afraid to teach what God designed and created. It’s fabulous!

Unfortunately, even to Christian woman, biblical womanhood can be viewed as ugly and unattractive. It’s a lie! Womanhood is part of her identity, but how it functions flows from her understanding of who she is in Christ. Carolyn Mahaney says, “Being the creation of God determines everything for us as woman. We don’t look at our culture to find our feminine identity; we don’t consult our feelings to discover our purpose. Everything that we are and everything that we do must be rooted in God.”[2]

Are There Implications?

Author, Susan Hunt, says, “Our daughters will be products of their theology. Their knowledge—or lack of knowledge—of who God is and what he has done for them will show up in every attitude, action, and relationship. Their worldview will be determined by their belief system.”[3] We need to teach woman, young and old, biblical womanhood. The implications of not teaching biblical womanhood to Christian women can be extreme. In time, a genderless society without any distinct demeanor or roles for men and women may exist.

When women do not understand the importance of their gender, there are some major effects. Marriage, parenting, sexual orientation, and biblical roles in the church can be confused and distorted which leads to a negative impact. John Piper says:

We are concerned not merely with the behavioral roles of men and women but also with the underlying nature of manhood and womanhood themselves. Biblical truth and clarity in this matter are important because error and confusion over sexual identity leads to: (1) marriage patterns that do not portray the relationship between Christ and the church (Eph 5:31-32); (2) parenting practices that do not train boys to be masculine and girls to be feminine; (3) homosexual tendencies and increasing attempts to justify homosexual alliances; (4) patterns of unbiblical female leadership in the church that reflect and promote the confusion over the true meaning of manhood and womanhood.[4]

Teaching or recalling woman to their created gender will transform society and preserve it from becoming a genderless society. Nancy Leigh DeMoss defines a biblical woman:

She is, quite simply, a woman who is being molded and shaped according to God’s design. She’s a woman who loves Jesus and whose life is grounded in, tethered to, and enabled by Christ and His gospel. As a result, she is serious about bringing her thoughts and actions in line with what the Bible says about who she is and how she ought to live. She is a woman who rejects the world’s pattern for womanhood, and gladly wears God’s designer label instead.[5]

Can you see how important it is to teach biblical womanhood? It is key to help a woman understand it because it affects all aspects of her life and can lead to deeper intimacy with Jesus Christ. Womanhood is amazing!

Additional Resources

For additional resources, see: The Danvers Statement and True Woman Manifesto.

Join the Conversation

In your ministry, how and what are you teaching women about biblical womanhood?

[1]Tripp, Paul. Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands, 6.

[2]Mahaney, Carolyn. Becoming God’s True Woman, 24-25.

[3]Hunt, Susan. Becoming God’s True Woman, 142.

[4]Piper, John and Grudem, Wayne. Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, 60.

[5]DeMoss, Nancy Leigh and Kassian, Mary. True Woman 101, 14-15.

Topics: Christian Living, Gender Roles, People in Need of Care, People Who Offer Care, People Who Train Caregivers, Wives | Tags: , , , ,

Saddling Your Emotions

Hayley Satrom May 8, 2012
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Saddling Your Emotions

A wise friend once instructed me, “Emotions are like wild horses. Beautiful. Powerful. Yet, if they are to be useful in everyday life, emotions—like horses—must be tamed.”

Is it true? Can emotions truly be tamed?

Less Like Horses, More Like a Riptide

It seems to me, and to countless other women I counsel, that emotions have quite a mind of their own. Less like horses, and more like tumultuous ocean waves, our emotions seem unwilling to yield to even our most ardent commands.

We feel at the mercy of these dangerous whitecaps, whether they be anger, despair, loneliness, or envy. Granted, waves of positive emotions engulf us from time to time, too: gladness, surprise, awe. But do we really have to take the bad with the good?

Is there a way to experience relief from those emotions that seek to drown us?

Self-Control, a Fruit of the Spirit

Scripture says, “Yes.” While our negative emotions threaten to control us, God promises that a fruit of HIS Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Even in our emotional life, we can seek God’s good gift of self-control.

Self-control doesn’t mean “stoicism.” Christ Himself provides examples of deep emotion in Scripture. At Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35) and in the garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:44), for instance, we see that Christ experiences deep sorrow and anguish. The catch: He doesn’t allow His sorrow to lead Him into sin. He submits to God’s will and puts other people before Himself in each trying circumstance, even amidst powerful feelings.

This is the kind of self-control we should aim for in our emotions. For help, we must ultimately rely on the Holy Spirit for lasting change, of course (Galatians 5:16). Even with this in mind, though, how can we fight for self-control, in tangible ways, on a daily basis? What are some practical steps we can take in an effort not to be trampled on by our wild stallion emotions?

Believe in God

Jesus says, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God” (John 14:1). Life’s troubles can grow up around us so that we can’t see the forest for the trees. Jesus calls His disciples in such a moment to believe in God. It’s a discipline of the mind to remember His goodness. Keep some Bible verses handy that especially encourage you in this belief, or better yet—memorize them.

Call out to God

Let’s not underestimate God’s willingness to hear our prayers and answer them. James writes, “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray…” (James 5:13-18). We are loved by a kind God; He will help us in our times of emotional need.

Take an Inventory of Blessings

So often our minds become consumed with the negative: what we don’t have, why life is going wrong. Paul reminds us that in addition to calling out to God in prayer when we are consumed with negative emotion, we should take stock of what is good:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things… and the God of peace will be with you (Philippians 4:4-9).

The next time your mind becomes inundated with negative thoughts, why not take a pen and paper and literally list out all you can think of in your life that falls within these categories: true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy. The point: turn from the negativity to remember how God has blessed your life.

Reach out to a Friend or Family Member

Emotional spirals do their greatest damage in isolation. Give a friend the chance to help you “tame” that emotion that’s getting the best of you. An added perk: vulnerability is contagious—your transparency may encourage your friend to turn to you when he or she is struggling in the future.

Change Locations

It’s true: merely changing locations can sometimes give you the extra perspective you need to see your circumstances in a more rational light. Stuck at home, our minds can play tricks on us, and there are no boundaries to what we might allow ourselves to do, say and believe in an effort to wallow in misery. A walk outside, a trip to the coffee shop, an errand run into town, and the next thing you know, you might be able to see your situation in a more thoughtful light.

Rest Your Mind

Sometimes our negative emotions can strike at the most inopportune time, such as at night—when you can’t reach out to a friend or change locations so easily. Everything is clearer in the morning, so do yourself a favor, and give your mind a break from the problem until you’re more capable of dealing with it (i.e. tomorrow!).

Become Familiar with Red Flags, and Intervene Early

Learn the early warning signs of an emotional spiral for you. For those who struggle with anger, irritation might be that red flag. Don’t let those initial emotions snowball into what will eventually feel like an avalanche. Intervene early by engaging in the steps above before you are in crisis mode.

Fighting for self-control is not easy, but remember God’s Word to us: “Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable” (1 Corinthians 9:25-26). Be encouraged that one day we will no longer need to fight for self-control, because in heaven we will finally receive the prize of becoming like our Savior.

Join the Conversation

Perhaps other steps have proven useful to you or to a friend when battling for self-control amidst strong negative feelings. Care to share?

Topics: Biblical Counseling, Christian Living, Gospel-Centered Ministry, People in Need of Care, Self-Control | Tags: , , , , , ,

“I Could Never Do That!”

Eliza Huie May 7, 2012
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I Could Never Do That

Occasionally when people hear I am a biblical counselor they reply, “Oh, I could never do that!” I understand this response. It’s usually followed by an explanation of how difficult it would be to hear of so many sorrows and troubles. Or sometimes they speak of their inability to help someone when they have their own list of difficulties. Whatever the reasons, their initial response couldn’t be further from the truth.

Yes You Can… and You Do

Paul Tripp captures it very well when he says, “You cannot be a human being and without counseling people. Everybody counsels everybody all the time. Every human relationship is a counseling environment.” Just because you are not sitting in a formal setting designated for the purpose of counseling doesn’t mean you are not actively a part of counseling someone every day. Every phone call, every email, every interaction with people in your life brings you into counseling.

That being understood, how can we move into these situations with a clearer focus on what we are called to do? Romans 15 gives an almost step-by-step look at how we can enter into people’s lives and circumstances in a way that brings glory to God.

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, ‘The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.’ For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God (Romans 15:1-7, ESV).

Looking at these verses, we see some clear teaching on how to interact in the lives of those around us, which is essentially counseling.

The Call

The first thing we see is the calling we have to this.

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, ‘The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.’

The opening sentence broad brushes everyone into this passage. It speaks of the strong and the weak. You may be on one end of the spectrum or the other, but you qualify. If you’re feeling strong, chances are you will one day find yourself weak. If you think you’re weak, believe it or not there is probably someone in your life who still looks up to you or is depending on you. But if the broadness of this first sentence doesn’t convince you of inclusion, the second sentence should.

We are each called to build up our neighbor. This is all inclusive. No one is exempt. Each one of us is called to bear with others and not please ourselves. Why do this? Because, as we see from this Scripture, in the moment when we bear with one another and we are not seeking our own interests, we are more like Christ than perhaps at any other time in life. You may have amazing quiet times, or memorize chapters of Scripture, or sing worship songs like an angel, but it is in the bearing of others burdens and the serving of others and not ourselves that we incarnate Christ in the most tangible way.

The Counsel

What do you say to a person who is hurting in ways you have never experienced or is going through difficulties that seem bigger than human help? This is where people get nervous. But the beauty of being called to this kind of relationship is that you do not hold the answer; but you point them to it. You are not hope, you show them where to find it. You are not relief, you point them to it. You are not their rescue, you tell them who is.

“For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”

The source of endurance and encouragement comes from the truth found in the pages of Scripture. God has given us everything we need for life and godliness and personal interaction with people around us. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you quote chapter and verse but instead you speak truth and hope in relevant ways into their circumstance.

The Purpose

Whenever we have a chance to walk with someone through any difficulty, no matter how great or small, our purpose is to give them hope but also to unite with them.

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus.”

The Scripture uses the word “unity” to describe the state in which the Body of believers in Christ should live. Unity (or harmony) is important. We are told to preserve it, to seek it, to maintain it. Harmony is best cultivated in the soil of self-sacrifice and service. Entering into another’s life is where unity begins. You don’t come with demands or stipulations, but simply to be a part of where they are. When someone sees you have no personal agenda in helping them, they respond at a deeper level. You can then walk together in the hope you are setting before them.

The Result

Too many times we think that the result of speaking into people’s lives will mean that they will change and see things the way we see them. You might have better understanding of truth but if the outcome you are hoping for is that they will see things like you, then you may be in for a big surprise.

“That together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.”

If I have learned one thing from counseling with people it is that I am also in the counseling room. Every situation that I am presented with is an opportunity for God to work on me, too. My counselees teach me so much more than they will ever know; it’s the one-another aspect of counseling.

“The weak” are not a burden to “the strong.” They actually sharpen and shape, help and encourage, them. As I speak to a person of the hope found in Christ I am encouraged in my own faith. When I hear them starting to see purpose in their trial and suffering, I am directed to that same hope and purpose for my own struggles. As I speak of God as an ever-present help, I am verbally reminding myself of that truth. When both the sufferer and the strong point to God, we have the same voice and in that voice we glorify God. It is not the strong that get the glory. It is the God of the strong who, in his love, provides us with the surest hope through Jesus Christ.

Join the Conversation

How does this change your view of your interaction with others? You may never be in a formal counseling setting, but be encouraged, you can bring hope to the hurting and glory to God.

Topics: Biblical Counseling, Christian Living, Local Church Ministry, People in Need of Care, People Who Offer Care, People Who Train Caregivers | Tags: , , , , , , ,

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About the BCC

The BCC exists to strengthen churches, para-church organizations, and educational institutions by promoting excellence and unity in biblical counseling as a means to accomplish compassionate outreach and effective discipleship.