Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold by Rick Thomas

The BCC Author Interview Q & A with Rick Thomas

As part of our BCC vision, we want to help you to get to know gifted Christian authors and their books. This week we’re highlighting Rick Thomas as he talks about his book Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold, which is part of the Day One Living in a Fallen World series.

BCC: “Rick, this is your first book in the Day One Living in a Fallen World series. Why did you write this particular one?”

RT: “It’s quite simple. Most of the counseling that I do is marriage counseling. This is not as much by my design as it is the reality that most people who seek counseling within the Christian community are married. Whenever two people covenant to live together for the rest of their lives, there will be conflict. Their conflict is not necessarily a problem, as much as a reality when two sinners live in close proximity to each other. My hope with the book is to give these couples some practical biblical help in their time of need.”

BCC: “How do you use the book in counseling?”

RT: “I like to think of the book as an extension of who I am as a counselor and how I counsel. Counseling is a time-constrained context where my exposure and influence with the couple is limited to the counseling office. I typically give my book to the couples I work with and ask them to take it home to read. I call it ‘taking your counselor home with you.’”

BCC: “So, you’re saying there is continuity between the book and your counseling?”

RT: “Precisely. If they are okay with my counseling and how I apply the Bible to their lives, then I recommend to them to continue the counseling ‘outside the counseling office.’ There is really no distinction between what I say in the counseling office and my writing. Therefore, this book can serve them during the week, when we are not meeting.”

BCC: “Do you typically give them a ‘homework’ assignment from the book?”

RT: “Yes. I typically ask them to highlight five to seven quotes from the book and then to practically apply them to their lives. This kind of writing assignment has proven to be effective as it ‘slows them down’ to reflective thought, while challenging them toward personal application.”

BCC: “There are hundreds of marriage counseling books on the market today. What makes yours different?”

RT: “In some respects it is no different than many of the quality books that you recommend on the BCC website. I hope my book adds to that list. However, I think there are two things that make this book a good answer to marriage problems:

  1. It is short. It’s a booklet. One of the unfortunate consequences of where we are today as a society is that many counselees do not read a lot, particularly solid and practical Christian books. I’ve found that a counselee, who may not have read a larger book in years, will read this book.
  2. The book’s focus is Gospel-centric. I believe that problems come into our lives and remain there when we drift from the main theme of the Bible, which is the good news of Jesus Christ. This book was written with a distinct Gospel focus. There is a need for books to help us to practically apply the Gospel to our problems. This book seeks to do this.”

BCC: “What are additional values of and benefits from this book?”

RT: “I think of two additional specific ones.

  1. The book is a case study about a wife who is in a bad marriage. However, it can be read by a husband too. The case study can be read from either gender’s perspective.
  2. You can actually apply this book to any person who is going through situational difficulty, whether they are married or not. Any reader would find benefit and help from this book because when the Gospel is applied practically, it is broad and comprehensive in its effect.”

BCC: “Thank you, Rick, for authoring this valuable resource, and for introducing our BCC readers to it.”