Top Ten Posts of All Time – #9

Jonathan Holmes

One problem that biblical counselors will surely face in their counseling and everyday conversations, regardless of gender, is the addiction and enslavement to pornography. With a problem so prevalent and pervasive in the church, numerous books and articles have been written on the topic. How can biblical counselors contribute to this conversation? Continue reading

Top Ten Posts of All Time – #3

Luke Gilkerson

One of the tasks of a good friend or accountability partner to someone who is entrenched in pornography is to help them understand their own heart. Why do they run to porn again and again? Solomon reminds us that “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water” (we often can’t see our own motivations) “but a man of understanding will draw it out” (Proverbs 20:5, parenthesis added). A wise friend helps to draw out of others the deeper motivations they are unable or unwilling to see in themselves. Continue reading

The Missing Ingredient for Sexual Purity

Luke Gilkerson

Purity is a funny word. It is a word that stresses the absence of something—the absence of some kind of contamination. In my mid-20s, this was the heart and soul of my pursuit as a young man: flee from porn and lust and hope it isn’t fast enough to catch me. Continue reading

No Grey Area in 50 Shades of Grey

Marie Notcheva

Marie Notcheva

No Grey Area in 50 Shades of Grey

We are about to see a new wave of counseling cases because of 50 Shades of Grey, and here’s why: Christian women are reading this tripe at the same rate as the general population. A Barna survey shows that 9% of American adults have read 50 Shades, and the statistic is exactly the same for professing Christians. Shocked? Screenings for the movie sold out fastest in Bible Belt cities, too. This is not a demographic—these are our sisters in Christ. There is something desperately wrong when a Christ-follower chooses to put this kind of material in her mind. Let’s consider three specific “heart issues” involved with choosing to read or watch 50 Shades. Continue reading

How Healthy and Satisfying Is Your Sex Life? A Christian Evaluation Tool

Brad Hambrick

Brad Hambrick

How Healthy and Satisfying Is Your Sex Life--A Christian Evaluation Tool

The Being Excellent Lovers Evaluation provides a 50-question, self-scoring evaluation that helps you and your spouse assess: a.) The shared beliefs and values necessary for a healthy sex life, b.) The comfort with your bodies and vocabulary necessary for a healthy sex life, c.) Factors related to the frequency and quality of a healthy sex life, and d.) Red flags that would derail a healthy sex life. Continue reading

4 Approaches to the Use of the Label “Porn Addiction”

Luke Gilkerson

4 Approaches to the Use of the Label Porn Addiction

For the biblical counselor—indeed, for any counselor—words matter. How we label a problem impacts how we approach it. And since pornography use is at an all-time high—and by some estimations, even in the church—it remains a critical question for biblical counselors today: Should I encourage others to label their problem an “addiction” and if so, what does that mean? Continue reading