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Lectures

Towards a Christian Perspective on Mental Illness

Below is a video from the presentation of “Towards a Christian Perspective...

by Brad Hambrick February 9, 2015
Podcasts

Taking A Time Out To Discuss Spanking

Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod,...

by John Street, Ernie Baker, David Wheaton October 6, 2014
Courses

Resisting Gossip Video Series, Lesson 10: Gossip and Our Church

“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a...

by Matt Mitchell October 4, 2014
Courses

Resisting Gossip Video Series, Lesson 9: Regretting Gossip

“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a...

by Matt Mitchell October 3, 2014
Courses

Resisting Gossip Video Series, Lesson 8: Responding in Love

“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a...

by Matt Mitchell October 2, 2014
Courses

Resisting Gossip Video Series, Lesson 7: Responding in Faith

“The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a...

by Matt Mitchell October 1, 2014
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Joe Medlock commented on Second Forgetting:

Jul 1

Thanks Howard, after reading your review I ordered the book.  I previously counseled two people who were faced with this dilemma; and at that time was not familiar with a book to read on the subject.

Steve Adams commented on Second Forgetting:

Jul 1

Good review.  I know of few individuals whose lives have not been touched in some way by this disease.  It is great knowing there is a resource like this available.  Thanks!

clearbluethunder commented on 10 Ways that Satan Loves to Watch Marriages Fall Apart:

Jun 30

I have been married 42 years and recently found out my husband has had several affairs in all the years we have been married. He is passive aggressive does everything he can to avoid being at home or having any kind of conversation with me. I realize now that he has never kept his word but I use to put it down to just his personality and his upbringing not being the best. However, in church he can pray long eloquent prayers and pass the plate and serve the Lord’s supper. No one would believe what he is since I have always defended him to the bitter end on any matter and even stood up for him with my kids. On the other hand, he has never stood up for me.  I am debating divorcing him since I cannot forgive him because he continues to lie. My dilemma is that I don’t want to lose what I have built and invested in for so long.
I am truly aware now that he has something wrong with him mentally and has spent a lifetime trying to convince me I am the crazy one for ever suspecting him of being unfaithful or any number of the accusations from people here and there over the years. I believed his lies. I have tried to forgive him because I know I need to but everything reminds me of all the terrible things he has done to destroy me, my faith and my life both emotionally and physically. What is so stupid is that my heart aches because of this monster. I still feel compassion for him.  I tried to leave him but he falls to his knees pleading with me and breaks my heart.  He says he can’t live without me. I sat by his side through heart attacks and other health issues he has had including now having impotence.
I know!  I was and am stupid! I thought being a submissive, humble, loving Christian wife, keeping up my knowledge while teaching my children, learning new things so I could converse intelligently, being an at home mother who raised her kids according to Christ, working in our business he wanted to start after he lost his job to help him get established, doing the books, doing all our taxes and being a good helpmeet for him was what every Christian man would desire. I should have realized that his constant comparing me to other women,derailing any conversation by stone silence or leaving or getting irrationally angry for no reason; pretending he couldn’t hear me no matter what conversation I started with him or anyone and would rudely interrupt me, hush me and whomever I was talking to; rolling his eyes and acting as if whatever I said was a bunch of wind no matter the subject, were all signs he is sick inside and not anywhere near being the Christian he wanted others outside our marriage to believe he is.
I need to get my own identity back but I don’t know how. I felt we were one and that the marriage vows were a covenant to keep while he never did. I always kept myself sexually available but he would ignore me for months on end. When he finally confessed what he had done all these years, he told others it was my fault for not being sexually available to him. Another big lie after all the years of lies. I know I have been an enabler because I always made excuses for him and blamed myself when he would get in trouble which cost him his jobs over the past 42 years. But now, I am through with blaming myself. One reason I haven’t left is because I basically have paid for our home, our vehicles and our bills. I have so much invested that to walk away would be like giving him cart blanch everything I worked so hard to build. His name is on all the royalty my daddy gave me and also on all my investments.
He knows If it had not been for me he never would have made it through college. I sat in on all his classes, took notes for him and wrote study sheets for him. I wrote all his essays. I didn’t go to college until my sons graduated high school. I got my degree and had two job offers when he decided to move us across the state to a place where we knew no one. He was following one of his whores but I didn’t know it at the time. She got him a job at the technical school where she worked.  I substituted for a couple of years but never could get a teaching job there because nepotism was rampant so I got my real estate license and started selling real estate. I then got a job at the phone company in small business programming. He told me I needed to keep busy that he did not want a woman who would simply keep her home and work for charity causes with the ladies at church. Little did I know he simply did not want me available to know what he was doing.
He is now in a phase of acting like a confessed martyr. He is still silent, uses passive aggressive techniques to derail family events then blames me. He insisted on taking over the bills because he retired from teaching and wanted to start a business. Then he tells me he is going to pay a bill or finish a job he started and then fails to complete either one. I don’t find out about it until I get the cancelled service, insurance or whatever he failed to pay as he said he would. I feel like I am living with a stranger, a dishonest and a perverted stranger. I don’t believe he has a single truth inside him. I feel nauseated as I write this. I can’t believe he has taken away so much of my life and left me battered emotionally. I have asked him to leave and he refuses. He says he likes having a roof over his head, a place to defecate and food to eat.
I’m going to stop now. At least I got this off my heart. I’ve cooked supper and the sorry reprobate will eat too. I can’t avoid feeding him or washing his clothes or any of the other wifely things I have done for so long. When he tries to touch me now, I feel dirty.

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