BCC Staff

Bitterness- A Poison that Kills

September 5, 2014

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BCC Staff

See to it…that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled… Hebrews 12:15 (NASB) 

Have you spent time with a bitter woman recently? She is so unpleasant to be around! Her speech is negative, her words flow from a sharp tongue that pokes at the object of her anger with verbal jabs. 

Bitter women gossip and slander their husbands. She is ungrateful, complains, and consistently judges his motives. She carries a critical and judgmental attitude. A woman who murmurs and complains to others about her husband dishonors him. She is giving others cause to think negatively about him by her speech. 

Bitterness kills relationships of all kinds, not only marriages. Friendships, and even workplace relationships have been ruined by bitterness. The bitter woman is suspicious of the actions of others. Even things that are done for her with good intention are suspect for she does not believe people genuinely want to do good to her. No one wants to be around a consistently negative person. It is awful to be with someone who rarely has a positive word to say about anything. 

Bitterness leads her to speak poorly of others, using language that is not honoring to God. Who wants to be in the presence of someone who is cursing, gossiping and slandering people? 

But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh. James 3:8-12 (NASB) 

Bitterness is selfishness. The bitter woman spends her time thinking about herself and what was done to her in the past. She is not solution focused, she is self-pity focused. This is a lonely place to live. 

A woman steeped in bitterness is excessively sorrowful. There is no joy in her life. Over time she becomes nearly unfit for human companionship. Her sin stands in the way of spiritual growth and peace. How can she grow when she is weighed down under all this bitterness? 

Her bitterness is the result of unresolved anger. The anger may have been because she was denied something she wanted (a loving husband or a good marriage), or because she received something she didn’t want (a sick or disabled person to care for).  

Bitterness can also result from misdirected anger. Because most people have not been taught the biblical way to resolve anger they internalize it, and sanitize it by covering it up with Christian platitudes. 

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. James 3:14 (NASB) 

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 (NASB) 

Bitterness can be uprooted. Life can bring some very difficult situations leaving a woman feeling cheated, wronged, and discontent. She doesn’t have to remain bitter! By confessing her bitterness to God a woman can begin the process of removing bitterness from her heart. Forgiving those who have wronged her, she will be released from this toxic way of living and find freedom, peace, and joy. 

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